Jashin Wants to Be Loved
by TouhouTea
Summary: Jashin takes her antics too far, leading her to do the unthinkable at her friends words. Things spiral into a bizarre mess from there.


Jashin Wants to Be Loved

At their apartment Yurine glares at Jashin in utter contempt saying "You really are disgusting aren't you?" before promptly storming for the door. "Yurine wait!" Jashin pleads , but it falls on deaf ears as Yurine turns around but for a second to punctuate her leaving _"Completely_ unlovable..." before slamming the door. Jashin hangs her head as she repeats to herself "Disgusting... Unlovable..."

Suddenly Jashin raises her head and clenches her fist. "No way! I can't accept this! I'll show her wrong, on both counts! I'm calling Medusa right now to prove her wrong. But having her praise me won't be enough. I'll need to do something drastic after what she said." She picks up the phone and dials... "Hey Medusa, It's me Jashin"... "Yeah I need you to get over here right now!"..." Why!? I need you to make love to me, that's why!" Jashin pulls the phone away from her ear as a loud affectionate "Ahh~!" can be heard from the other end". Jashin switches to speaker to hear " I'd love to, let me get some things I'll be right over!" *click* Jashin hangs up setting the phone down with a devious grin "Hehe, perfect! Though I'll admit not even I expected her to agree so easily. Maybe she has use beyond an ATM after all... For me to exploit of course."

A few minutes later and Medusa rushes in and wraps her arms around Jashin, who taken aback goes "Whoa!". Medusa lets go and says "Here!" extending her arms with a bouquet of flowers. Jashin asks "What's all this now?" Medusa responds "Didn't you say to come over so we can show our love?". Wagging her finger Jashin corrects "No, I said _make_ love." Clasping her hands Medusa goes "Right! That's what the flowers are for. I'm _making_ love with you, by giving you them." Jashin returns "I meant _physically._ Medusa asks "Do they not smell good? I can get more if you're allergic." Jashin says "No I meant USING YOUR BODY." Confused Medusa asks "What are you talking about?" Jashin angrily lists off "Shaking the sheets, servicing Venus, naked wrestling, the beast with two backs, making feet for Christmas stockings, this or that, putting the Seamen in the Demon!..."

Medusa gulps "Alright, I... understand." She slowly reaches her hand over to Jashin, grabs her breasts and squeezes it twice. A few moments of silence pass..."What are you doing?" Jashin flatly asks. Medusa stammers "Ehhhh". Jashin explodes "Come on! Do you seriously not know what sex is? How is that even possible? You're from hell aren't you? Aren't you over a thousand years old? Even babies know what it is with the power of the internet these days!" Medusa covers her face "I'm sorry it's just... I don't know how to... with a snake." "Oh" Jashin says "That actually makes sense. Hmmm..." She taps the side of her head "Ah! That's right!" She quickly slithers over to a treasure chest shaped box, and riffles threw it throwing out all sorts of oddities before grabbing onto something "Here it is! " she takes a swig of the potion in her hand and the transformation begins. Her tails shakes, then in a puff of smoke her tails completely transforms into a pair of human or ah... demon? Legs.

Medusa in wonder goes "Amazing". Presenting herself Jashin says "Now ravish me". "Huh?" responds Medusa. Jashin complains "Come on I've had this body for a couple of hours, you're the expert uhmmm..." turning her hand "bipedal here." Medusa says " Uhm alright... I'll take the lead. Here goes... For real this time." Medusa again reaches for Jashin, this time much lower . Jashin jumps back teeth clattering "What was that!". "I was just doing what you told me" Medusa defends. Jashin exclaims "That's what _that_ hole is for !?" Medusa, arms curled to her chest, says "But weren't you just saying how I didn't know what-" _interrupting_ Jashin yells "The doors opening! Quick take your clothes off!" Medusa says "What?" Jashin shuts down "Stop saying what and just do it!".

A moment later Yurine comes in holding a cup of coffee, "Maybe I was too hard on her. She is a demon after all." Suddenly there's a thumping sound coming from the closet. "Is that you Jashin? You better not be planning anything." She slowly opens the door then whisks it away in a hurry revealing Medusa on top of Jashin. Yurine's jaw drops, before abruptly shutting the door and turning around. "Haha, I didn't see that right? This is that thing where a person always walks in at the worst possible moment. It's not what it looks like." The door re-opens and Yurine's greeted by Jashin's devious smile, "You're wrong Yurine, behold the ultimate act of love and beauty. Have you ever seen it before? No I guess you wouldn't have. So much for all that stuff you said earlier then." She triumphantly laughs, "Hahaha".

Yurine's shock turns to anger as she tightens up, arms shaking uncontrollably. "Eh? Yurine?" questions Jashin. Yurine crushes the cup of coffee in her hand as she barely manages the words "JA-SHI-N. You've really gone and done it. Not only did you manipulate, and take advantage of your friend; you did it all just to prove a point. This is unforgivable... I'd say I'm writing you a one way ticket to hell, but..." She whips out a massive pair of scissors. "You're goanna need two for your other half." "Wait stop!" Jashin shouts "You can't do that while I'm in bed with Medusa. That'd be G*r* which is to much for even fan fiction." Pulling on her friend "Plus you'd scar poor Medusa." With a sigh Yurine says "Fine, but you can't stay in there forever. I'm going to sit here and watch until the second you stop. And then... well let's just say I'm ordering something special for the occasion, sense I imagine you will have had enough scissoring by then." She dials the phone.

"What am I going to do!" Jashin screams internally "I'm in way over my head here! I didn't think this out at all!" Medusa crawls up on her and says "It'll be alright Jashin, I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe; now come on let's enjoy it while it lasts." Jashin looks all over the room for any possible outs then swipes the only thing in arms reach, the phone from Yurine's hand. She presses the screen and shouts "No time to dial I'll have to pick a random contact!"...It answers "Hello" Jashin asks "Pekora?"... You have a phone!?"..."Look just hurry and get over here, I have something delicious to give to you."..."Yes, yes I've heard it before, just get here quickly or I might just decide to eat it myself." *click* "Ahhh, now I just have to wait for Pekora, drag her into bed and she'll tire out in no time. Then I can say "We're cuddling" and be safe. Poor Haloless Pekora come to me!"

Yurine remarks "I can hear you, you know. Besides you still have at least twenty minutes until she gets here." Jashin clears her throat "You know Medusa I appreciate your enthusiasm in this, but what I'm actually into is hand stuff." She gets up on her knee's and sticks her arm out. "So if you may."...

*Five Minutes Later*

Pekora bursts in panting. Yurine looks in surprise at her speed "So this is power of an Angels hunger"; Jashin jumps away from Medusa's "Handjob" and latches onto Pekora. She cries "Wah, get off me! And why are you naked!?" Jashin says "Don't worry about that! Come, join me in The Love Closet, it'll be fun!" Pekora still struggling says "Wait! What happened to the delicious meal!?" Jashin lets go, calmly sits down, then slowly opens her legs and points down, flatly saying "This." Pekora says "huh?" Jashin continues "This, This is your meal." Pekora shakes her head and arms in vehement refusal "No absolutely not".

Not taking no for an answer Jashin runs to the kitchen and back then jumps into the closet closing the door. Then with the sound of a canister and a squirt bottle, covered in chocolate and whip cream, _Medusa_ comes out of the closet. Jashin presents "There Perfectly fit for a..." gritting her teeth "refined... angels... pallet." Yurine remarks "Aren't you supposed to put that on yourself?". "It's only fair after I spent the last ten minutes getting sucked off" Jashin says holding up her drool coverd hand. Yurine says "I don't think that means, what you think it does." With floating hearts around her (actually just lesser demons escaped from the trunk) Jashin says "Now come on let's get to action!" She grabs hold of Pekora and starts pulling off her clothes enticing her "Your meal awaits and she's awfully sweet!" but Pekora slips away and says "No, I must protect my sanctity as an angle no matter how... tempt...ing..." her eye's fixate lustfully onto Medusa's dripping... rich... smooth... chocolate. But she closes her eye's to it shaking her head to her sense and rushes out the door.

Jashin sighs as she tosses something aside "I guess it's back to it Medusa." She says "Uhm actually I kinda need a break." Jashin challenges "Eh!? You're already giving up on me!?" "Well, my mouth is all dry, and I think I'm inducing molting" she peels off a large chunk of Jashin's skin from her tongue "and it's really embarrassing standing naked in the middle of room, I'm getting hungry-" Jashin interrupts "I get it" Medusa continues " And I got to clean this stuff off, and-" Jashin yells "I said I get it!" The door bell rings. "Just in time" says Yurine as she walks to the door "I had it ordered from hell by Yuse. I think you'll find pretty... _cool_."

Jashin panics "Shit! I don't have much time. Where's the heck did I put that phone!... Ah, right! The one place Yurine couldn't steal it." She pulls the phone from Medusa who let's out a moan. Jashin then wipes the screen off in a rush saying "There's only one person close and fast enough to get here before I get killed... For real this time!" She dials... "Yeah, Minosu, I need you to get over here as fast as you can"... "Please it's urgent!"...

Yurine comes back with a large Frozen Sword surrounded by whirling spirits "I hope that was you getting your affairs in order." She readies her blade behind her and asks "Are you finally ready for your punishment." "I...I..." Jashin stammers out as she sweats bullets. Just then the door fly's open and a strong gust of wind fills the room. It's Minosu.

She asks "So where's the excitement at?" Jashin cries "Over here hurry"... then promptly changes her tune saying "Okay now, Minosu lets wrestle!" Yurine slighted says "Wrestling?" Jashin proclaims "Yup I clearly listed naked wrestling as a type of sex earlier." Yurine narrows her eye's as Jashin waits nervously for a response "Fine... I guess." Minosu says "I don't really get it, but if you want to throw down, Let's. Ready?" Jashin says " Hold on, aren't you going to ask why I'm naked?" Minosu brushes it off "Nah, I used to wrangle with Bulldekken and they never wore any clothes." "Bulldekken you say" utters Jashin as the image of a Massive Muscular beast with glowing red eye's, and protruding horns fills her head, only to be interrupted by Minosu tackling her.

On the ground Minosu starts working her over into several painful (and embarrassing) positions as Jashin yells out "Someone please!"... "Help!" ..."Ah! where are you sticking your hand!?" Minosu encourages "Come on put your heart into it use your whole body!"... Hands over her mouth, nervously alternatingly lifting her shoulders Medusa worries "Shouldn't we do something?" Yurine simply says "She brought this on herself."

A little tossing and turning later, finally Minosu pins her. "Someone give me a count!" Yurine obliges "One... two... two and a half... two and thee quarters." Jashin interrupts "Just count normally!" Yurine again counts "One... two... ah what comes after two...hmmmm... two square?...01010... VI... Three cubed..." At her end Jashin says "That's over ten, It's over right! Ah, Ah, ow!" Yurine continues "Seven and then uhm... tem. I guess." Jashin yells out "tem, what the hell is tem!?" then get's flipped around into another more intense pin. Yurine says "Ah that's right, I meant to say... What was it, oh right ten." Minosu finally let's go as she gets up and wipes her head leaving a puddle of Jashin on the floor. "Whew, that was fun. Got anything to drink?" Yurin says "My apologies, I was too busy cleaning "trash", and forgot my duties as host. I'll go prepare some lemonade, we should even be able to cool it with this sword." Minosu says "I look forward to it!"

Medusa meanwhile rushes to Jashin shaking her, "Hurry Jashin you have to get up! Aren't you going to call someone else or should I..." Jashin wallows "It's hopeless I can't even move...there's no one else who could possibly make it here before Yurine comes back... Well except maybe..." Jashin suddenly envisions a familiar cop rushing through traffic with reckless abandon, loving yet crazed eye's, leaving destruction in her wake. Jashin shudders at the thought. "No! Not even in death, would I call her."

Pekora comes back saying "Hi, I uhhh came back for my shirt." Yurine says " Good timing I just made lemonaid, and you can give Jashin her last rights." She hands a cup of frozen lemonaid to Pekora "Have this while I grab your clothes." Pekora questions "This is okay right? Nothing wrong with having a drink while I wait. It didn't come from a demon's body?" Meanwhile Jashin remains in despair "Wah, I give up! I now know what it's like for humans and lesser Angels to have to depend on others all the time." She crawls to her dresser, pulls out a piece of underwear, and tells Pekora "Here I want you to take these and give them to Poporon." She tosses them and they land directly in Pekora's lemonaid slowly taking on their color.

Pekora cries silently for her loss "It was never to be." then asks "Why do you even have something like this when you have no legs?." Jashin presses her fingers together "Well you see..."

A day ago...

Poporon and Jashin are talking in public. "Eh! You want me to help you?" Crossing her arms Jashin asks "Why should I?" Stomping her foot Poporon yells "Because _you_ are the one who ate my Halo." Jashin doesn't respond. Popron says "Look I don't like it anymore than you do, but I've lost all all contact with heaven and I know first hand you can fight... I need you." Now picking her nose Jashin responds "Nah, I don't really feel like it." Simmering "Grr... Fine!" Popron shouts "I'll get Pekora to do it. And she'll probably do it free too! Just to stay in my resort room. And I don't even have to feed her when I can just give her the scraps of our pre-show feast. I mean she has to remember _something_ from out training. Who needs you! " Already walking away Jashin rushes back dollar signs in her eye's "Did you say resort hotel and feast?" ...

Back to now.

Jashin says "So that's how I ended up in her apartment but then..."

Back to story.

Poporon is going room to room turning off the lights and changing into a sleeping gown. She tells Jashin "The TV has all the channels, room service is on dial, and this place has all the amenities you could ask for so just stay awake and watch the door then you do whatever it is you do all day tomorrow." Jashin says "Sure, but why do you need me? Don't you already have security?" Pekora: "Yes, but you need to keep this a secret. One of my tapes was leaked to hell and now there's a demon stalking me. He's too much of a trouble maker to last long in this world, but till then I need you to keep watch." Jashin says "I get it, so many words, just go to sleep already. Poporon is a bit irritated by goes to sleep anyways.

Three hours later...

Jashin is asleep in the chair in front of the TV with a large snot bubble going up it down. It suddenly pops with a flurry of bangs from the other room. Wearily Jashin says "Huh?" as she heads into the other room, but then jumps back upon opening the door. There's a swarm of bats; licking, pressing, and banging against the window. Jashin stammers out "Wh-what happened to **a** demon?" "Panties! Panties Give me Panties" calls the bats. Jashin weighs her options "Take on a swarm of disgusting bats and broken glass to protect an angel... or throw some underwear out the window." Taking the obvious answer Jashin looks all over the room, but can't find any bags "I guess I'm going straight to the source." She slithers over to Poporon... carefully lifts the blanket, and then the night gown... peers under and then immediately drops it with a red face. " I guess I'll have to look somewhere else..." She looks all over the apartment before finding a hidden briefcase under the bed. Inside there's a change of clothes including underwear. She waves them in front of the window before opening it, but it's seals shut. The swarms says "Meet us, meet outside, we'll meet, make we'll, us... Okay everyone shut up and speak at the same time! Gosh guys it's not hard. Do you want this to work or not?" Starting over the bats say "Meet us outside, we'll make our exchange there." and thus the swarm dissipates. Jashin says "I'm starting to not be so scared anymore."

Outside Jashin looks around "Where the hell are they?" "Over here!" a much deeper voice than before calls out. Jashin checks it out, and a pale fanged man emerges from the shadow "I'm the one you spoke too earlier." Jashin holds up the undergarment "So these are what you wanted right?" The vampire wriggles his fingers and licks his lips then grabs at the underwear but Jashin pulls them away. "So these mean a lot to you right? You might even pay for them?" The Vampire answers "I suppose so... but that's not goanna happen because-" Jashin pulls him down with her tail knocking him out on a rock, then runs of proclaiming "I'm going to be rich! Hell's black market here I come!"

End of story.

Jashin cries "But now I understand humans pain in having to depend on your friends in a tough situation. So I want you Pekora, to return those to Poporon and protect her in my stead." Pekora says "But shouldn't you be the one doing all this and Wah!" Pekora ducks "What's up with these little red demons flying around!?" Ignoring that Jashin says "And Medusa, I took things too far. If I survive this I promise to take you on a real date!" "Oh Jashin!" says Medusa." Jashin continues "Seeing brand new movies, lavish gifts, tasty lobster dinner it all sounds so delicious, I mean romantic!"... Lastly Minosu, she looks up "Yeah what's up." then takes a bite of ice saying " I think this lemonaide is haunted." she then burps a ghost. Jashin says "Ehhh, Actually I don't think I need to apologize to you." Without hesitation Yurine swings the oversize blade at Jashin, to an inch short of throat, then lightly taps her. Jashin jumps "Ah!" Yurine stabs the blade into the ground and leans on it. "I guess I'll let you live... for now. You've been through plenty, enough and you did say sorry (In your own way)."

Jashin takes a massive sigh of relief. Though Yurine says "But let me warn you; if you ever try to pull anything like this again It'll be me and you who are going into that closet. Jashin's face reddens "Gee Yurine, I never realized you felt that way... about me." Yurine jumps to defend "Wait No! I didn't mean it like that! It was supposed to be a threat! A threat I tell you!" The others laugh and the day is brought to a peaceful _and_ clothed end.


End file.
